An open letter to cis feminists
Stop fucking up.*
I have complained numerous times that the feminist blogosphere, such as it is, has one main conversation about trans people, one that is returned to again and again and again - the political implications of our transitioning. Click here if you want yet another example of pointless bloody "analysis."
I don't CARE about whatever horrible thing some feminist has said anymore. I care that these discussions centre on cis concerns, even (maybe especially) allies respond mostly to the slurs, but rarely address the real issues.
Now, if you want to have those conversations, here's an idea. Subject yourself to the same kind of analysis. Honestly interrogate if and how you might have more or less privilege than trans people. And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.
Or how bout this for an idea. Spend some actual time and energy on trans issues. Here is one thing you are barely talking about - the continual violence against transgendered people for being transgendered.
Blog about Angie Zapata. Blog about Ebony Whitaker. Blog about Sanesha Stewart (to name just three trans women murdered this year).
Try subjecting all that torturous analysis to something actually useful - how violence against trans people occurs. Try thinking about the fact that it is overwhelming trans women of colour being murdered. Try thinking about the intersections between race, transness, misogyny and sex work.
Try writing about the way that institutions collude with this violence - that medical professionals may willingly leave you to die, that police may not prosecute, that lawyers use "trans panic" as a defence to justify the death, and then to add insult to injury, the media effectively blames the dead person for their own deaths AND misgenders them.
And for fuck's sake, don't blame the fucking victims.
I DARE YOU.
* if this doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you.
posted by queen emily @ 5:48 AM
37 Comments:
I can't quite agree with you. I'd like to but for one statement you wrote.
I do thank you for allowing an anonymous response.
For about three years, by best friend, my closest confidante was a transgendered individual. What I learned as we hung around and went to various events was that there are great cis and GLBT folk and their are asshole cis and glbt folk. As one would expect.
So to a certain extent, I find your statement that transgendered woman are not part of the patriarchy to be puzzling. With the phrase, "in general transgendered woman are not part of the patriarchy, of course, there are assholes everyone and some maybe" than I don't have a real problem with what you wrote.
"And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy." This makes me think that you feel that I, some random guy, is probably a part of the fucking patriarchy.
Or that my four year old son is, if not now, than in, well how many years?
Or worse, what about a transgendered FTM? Is he definitely part of the patriarchy, or only if he takes a job working for the government?
So here's the thing. When I hear people say "blame the patriarchy" and when they sometimes say, "we don't mean all men or only men we just mean `society` and its stupid rules, laws, norms, barriers" well that's one thing.
But statements like yours, "And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy." Well that gives it away. You and others apparently DO feel that men are all basically part of the patriarchy.
Though very few men have any power or control over any lives, much less their own. Most men are not supervisors, managers, elected politicians, lawers, kings, judges, or anything. Most men, if they are married, are at this time, more co-head of household than head of household.
When you say this: ""And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.""
I first think, "goddam right, let's end discrimination against the trans and GLB" community.
And then I realize what you are also saying is, "Fuck men, fuck FTM, fuck them all for they all work to oppress me."
It makes no sense. It is as hateful as anyone that wants to claim all transgendered woman as patriarchy.
Fight the power. Avoid collateral damage. Avoid dehumanizing people based on their sexual characteristics.
What I learned as we hung around and went to various events was that there are great cis and GLBT folk and their are asshole cis and glbt folk. As one would expect.
That statement doesn't make a lick of sense. Let's change it to:
there are great cis and trans folks and great straight and glbt folks. There are also asshole cis and trans folks and asshole straight and glbt folk. That is, the quality of "assholism" doesn't discriminate. Anyone can be an asshole, regardless of race, creed, color, age, religion, sex, gender identification, sexual preference, country of origin, status as a vet.
But statements like yours, "And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy." Well that gives it away. You and others apparently DO feel that men are all basically part of the patriarchy.
I think that's a deliberately perverse reading of what Em wrote. She was responding to the accusation all too freqently levelled at trans women that they are the patriarchy taken to its logical conclusion. See, to use the first example off the top of my head, The Transsexual Empire.
Anon #1, perhaps you should read the post that phrase linked to. And cis is not the opposite of GLBT; trans does not equal queer.
And WORD to this whole post. (I'll write up my own after I get back from dinner)
And then I realize what you are also saying is, "Fuck men, fuck FTM, fuck them all for they all work to oppress me."
Find me one goddamn place Em has ever said anything like that. Ever.
You're projecting like a damn movie house, man. Try paying attention to what she's actually saying instead of equating her to whoever else you've talked to, with that attitude, who's pissed you off whenever it was. Seriously.
Oy, I should have stopped reading after "I can't quite agree with you." I think everybody needs to hear this post. All I can say in response is "Oh HELL YES!" The discussions and debates about trans discrimination and exclusion have always just confounded me. I can intellectually wrap my mind around the basis for lots of prejudices but the transphobia by members of the feminist blogosphere just does not compute. How are transwomen threatening you just by trying to live their freakin lives honestly and without apology??? Gad. Just get with the fucking program already!! Again, this post just really needed to be written!!
Anyway, thanks for this, Em. You've boiled it down to something simple and sensible that more people ought to hear.
Yeah, really not seeing wtf is "not quite to agree with" here. It's really not that fucking complicated. p.s. as in, the whole point being, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
Here here.
Rock on.
Oh no, random cis anonymous person can't quite agree with me?
*criesncriesncries*
Why yes, I *did* say "fuck all men, ESPECIALLY trans men"
Sorry drakyn and Nick, that bit was written in invisible ink only concern trolls can read.
But thank you for immediately derailing a discussion of the violence that trans people face, and the way it is erased, silenced and turned into bullshit trans 101 conversations every bloody time.
*kisses to everyone else though*
When you say this: ""And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.""
I first think, "goddam right, let's end discrimination against the trans and GLB" community.
And then I realize what you are also saying is, "Fuck men, fuck FTM, fuck them all for they all work to oppress me."
It makes no sense. It is as hateful as anyone that wants to claim all transgendered woman as patriarchy.
Fight the power. Avoid collateral damage. Avoid dehumanizing people based on their sexual characteristics.
What the hell? Why did you decide to make what she was saying about you? It wasn't about you.
This discussion isn't about cis men. It's not centered on cis men. It's about trans people and the fact that we have to deal with a whole raft of crap every day, and that cis people believe they have the right to dehumanize us, erase us, and even murder us.
And don't bother taking offense at my statement that cis people murder trans people. Andrade's a cis man and murdered Angie Zapata, who was a trans woman. I'm talking about him, not you.
Brava! I think this applies to ALL cis feminists whether you/we see ourselves as allies or not because cis privilege means we will always have a tendency to be blind to some of our actions, so the only way we can really know whether we are ACTUALLY being allies or not is by discussing and analyzing our own selves.
You know when you said
Try subjecting all that torturous analysis to something actually useful - how violence against trans people occurs. Try thinking about the fact that it is overwhelming trans women of colour being murdered. Try thinking about the intersections between race, transness, misogyny and sex work.
I just thought about how sad it is that so many self-identified feminists still don't really believe in the intersection of oppressions. It's like "Well, I'm oppressed so the oppression that I experience must be the worst kind of atrocity that exists because it's happening to ME and I certainly don't anything that makes me worthy of being treated that way unlike those other folks who really do deserve it."
Anyway, this is a great post and a great call to action.
Bint, I don't get how anyone can not believe in intersections. To me it's like not believing in evolution. Intersection of oppressions and evolution just make logical sense.
And I have now crossposted my post (which quotes yours) leik whoa. Because cis*folk, especially cis* feminists, need to read this.
You aren't pandering to their sensitivities; you aren't being nice. You're being truthful and right and unapologetic.
hi emily! fantastic post. i'll be sure to link when i'm next on my blog.
. . . however
Why yes, I *did* say "fuck all men, ESPECIALLY trans men"
why do you hate me??! WHHHYYY!!???!?
*sobs*
That is such an amazing post! :D
I'm so sick of those feminists who dismiss intersectionality out of hand, or see only the issues that affect THEM (see white, cis, abled) as issues ALL women face, and therefore are the MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH, as if they're the everywoman >:\ I'm tired of having my identity dismissed and being told cisprivilege and transphobia are myths.
I'm sick of feminists whose idea of "trans issues" is "debunking transgenderism" instead of the very real violence we face simply for being transgendered. That the murders and rapes of transwomen are shrugged off, as if we aren't women, as if our issues aren't women's issues too. >:O
I'm just so sick of being treated, as a transwoman and as a woman of colour, like the enemy by white middle class cisfeminists who claim to care about and fight for all women. Newsflash: transwomen are women, women of colour are women, disabled women are women, poor women are women >:O Our issues are womens issues too! >:O
Ty so much for writing this it is awesomes :)
And to commentator #1: xD Way to derail. BUT WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ!? XDDD
I just thought about how sad it is that so many self-identified feminists still don't really believe in the intersection of oppressions. It's like "Well, I'm oppressed so the oppression that I experience must be the worst kind of atrocity that exists because it's happening to ME and I certainly don't anything that makes me worthy of being treated that way unlike those other folks who really do deserve it."
On the very long post with the most views ever on my blog that I linked in my post yesterday that totally stole Emily's post, there's a commenter somewhere deep inside who insists that intersectionality is too academic to be taken seriously.
I mean, wtf?
Don't worry, Nix, I still love you! We can talk about music and Supernatural anytime. ;)
Oh I like this post.
What a tool, Mr. Anonymous #1. Sure, you may not be an oppressive part of the patriarchy, but you've got male privelage. And ya know what, most men can't even begin to understand exactly how deep and wide implicit male prvelage is. You don't really figure that out until you transition, and suddenly are treated like all other women - the you REALLY see the contrast.
I'm sick of cissexual feminist women claiming I am not a woman or that my issues aren't women's issues. I am not out at work as trans. They do not know I am trans. I get all kinds of sexist crap in my professional workplace every day. Why are my issues not other issues? Because I get my estrogen from a jar instead of an ovary? BS.
And I am sick of FTM's who think they still have a corner on what it is to be female. Don't get me wrong, the FTM community had alot more to do with my transition and coming out than did the MTF world, but still.... once they hit the 4 month mark on T, most of them are permanently male-privelaged, like it or not. Add some T to the mix and you've got some rather male men. My daily lived experience is as a woman. I'll be damned if I am going to listen to some self-rightous white upper middle class bearded FTM 10 years my junior and still waiting for the ink to dry on his Smith diploma tell me what it is/means/feels to be a woman.
Thank you.
Have linked you, like it or not ;)
This Queen's Speech needs to be broadcast to every corner of Blogdonia and then some...
To Anonymous No.1, who took issue with the statement "transwomen are not the fucking patriarchy": I'm pretty sure that what was meant was not the censure of male-bodied people or cismen. It was a response to a sentiment so common in cissexist feminist discussion that it's just gotten tiresome. That sentiment is that (at the shallow end) transwomen bring "male energy" or whatever to female-only events and thus should not be allowed in and that (at the deep end) transwomen are part of the male conspiracy (lol) to appropriate female experience or whatever. I tend to avoid those sorts of arguments because they're dumb so maybe I've missed some nuances, but their main source of dumbness is that they don't represent transwomen as actual women. Which they are. So let them into the women-only events already. They'd let *me* in, even though I don't identify as a woman, because of my anatomy: I thought anatomy wasn't supposed to be destiny?
So you see, this has nothing to do with YOU. But you managed to make it about YOU anyway. Your cisgendered male self, despite fact that we're talking about: transgendered people, especially transwomen; the sort of conversations that feminists who have ciswomen keep having about transwoman, *ad nauseam*, hence this post. Way to assume that YOU were the topic of conversation. Way to hijack a conversation that wasn't even about YOU. That pisses me off.
It's nice that you read blogs like this, but one of the awesome things about reading blogs is that it's easy to lurk, which means it's easy to SHUT UP and LISTEN and CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE AND YOUR ASSUMPTIONS. When I lurk around blogs about racism, for example, I mostly keep my mouth shut because I'm white so I don't know as much. I definitely don't try to make the conversation about myself. First step of being an ally: shutting up and listening for a while until you understand what the minority/marginalized group in question considers to be the issues (obviously, there will be disagreement within the group).
On the other hand, if you hadn't said what you said, then I wouldn't have been able to offer a, shall we say, alternate perspective.
~Jessy, a female-bodied genderqueer transfeminist (some of my best friends are ciswomen! lol)
Try subjecting all that torturous analysis to something actually useful - how violence against trans people occurs. Try thinking about the fact that it is overwhelming trans women of colour being murdered. Try thinking about the intersections between race, transness, misogyny and sex work.
The silence that occurs when a trans person is victimized is incredible. I simply cannot understand how a mariginalized group can treat another so cruelly. If women (feminists)expect support for their issues they need to behave in kind. You cannot demand human dignity and then turn around and deny it to someone else.
It's not that simple - as a woman, I don't feel comfortable saying "If you don't pay attention to trans issues, I'll blow off women's issues."
They're not separate - trans issues intersect with women's issues, and that intersection is impossible to separate - nor should we want to separate it.
But still, the silence is appalling, and inexcusable.
Thank you so much for writing about this. Just so you know, I've linked to it from my livejournal.
That crap didn't even make any sense over at "feminazi"--and I expect as much from anyone who ever thought that was a funny name for a blog.
Miss Andrea writes:
I’m sure some feel as if their entire humanity is at risk of being rejected, but that is not the case, unless their entire identity is wrapped up in their genitalia.
I don't usually ask about people's genitalia. How would you KNOW what genitalia people have, unless you ask? Obviously, Miss Andrea is the person foisting a belief in how individuals should behave based on their genitalia; how else would the subject even come up? Why not accept people at their word, and not their genitalia? Miss Andrea is the one advocating panty-checks... otherwise, how would she even KNOW?
As I've said many times, I discovered (after the fact) that I worked with a non-op transwomyn for 5 1/2 yrs and didn't even know it. Should I have checked her genitals before I peed in the stall next to her? Now, why would I do that? Is Miss Andrea advocating this? If she isn't, how does she know this isn't happening to HER right this second?
She's the one obsessed with keeping track of WHO IS WHO; transwomyn simply want to live their lives.
[pauses to kiss my Queen!]
What I posted about mAndrea on the Feminist LJ community, including something I posted at I Blame the Patriarchy:
n an earlier post on that same blog, one of the commenters actually said that trans women exist so that men can own female bodies without having to get female consent, and that we love being prostituted and raped to let men degrade our female bodies. mAndrea enthusiastically agreed and cheered her on.
mAndrea's cissexism and transphobia is so entrenched, so ignorant, so hateful, so stupid it's not even worth trying to address or untangle it.
Just cut right through it - why is anyone worried about the nonsense mAndrea's saying when trans women are violently, brutally, murdered on a regular basis? When trans people are denied necessary medical care, even to the point of death, when trans people are denied the simple dignity of proper ID (at least in the US).
Also, like I commented on I Blame the Patriarchy this morning:
I suppose that’s convenient - use trans women to stand in for the patriarchy, because taking on the patriarchy takes work and effort, and may involve actual risk.
Taking on trans women, though? Pretty safe target by comparison - society largely doesn’t like us, doesn’t support us, cheers our murderers on and blames us for getting killed in the first place.
So instead of challenging men, real actual living, breathing men who engage in sexist acts, who perpetuate rape culture, who harm women every day, you attack trans women, slander and libel us, demonize our motivations and twist our lives to fit your prejudices, and then blame us for all of these prejudices you’ve imposed upon us.
Yes, that’s feminism. That’s advanced patriarchy blaming right there.
mAndrea's not a feminist, or against patriarchy. She's a coward, doing the kyriarchy's dirty work.
Good stuff.
I think. I will have to read it again, but it sure seems well thought out and put together, and I basically agree with That over most actual points of view.
Rock on.
Truly awesome post!
It's just bizarre to call a group with a substantially higher risk of being victims of violence 'priviliged'.
To keep calling them privileged without addressing this is.... cognitively inept is the most polite way I can find to describe it.
Blogged at The F-Word with links to Belle, Lisa, Ren, Rebecca, Drakyn, Queen of Thorns, Debs and, er, me.
Thanks for the kind comments, kittycats.
Battybats: Yeah, I agree that "privilege" is just not cutting it, or is beginning to outlive its usefulness. We get into these endless semantic discussions, and at worse people do some bullshit "well *I'm* not a millionaire" thing. Yes, and you don't get anxious about not getting beaten up going to the shops to get some chips.
Cos it's *not* about shiny things cis people get.
Aww Helen, now I really do need to brace for trolls! ;)
Hey, we are all part of the patriarchy, willing or not. We learn to play our assigned roles, or learn how NOT to play them. We aren't ignorant of the assigned roles. We have to learn our way OUT of the psychological training of the patriarchy, and that applies to every cis-,trans-,male,female,GQ straight, bi, or gay person out there. Some of us need to learn to give up unearned power, some of us need to learn that we can have power, all of us benefit from trying to see the world from each others' eyes.
I think that many of the feminists who are skeptical of transwomen haven't met many transwomen. It's all theory, all the time. To many cis-gendered people,it all seems exotic and perhaps threatening until meeting transpeople on a social or professional (ie, everyday life) basis.
NancyP
Message received.
Bravo. And thank you.
I just DO NOT UNDERSTAND the hostility of feminism generally to transgendered people. All of the vitriol I have read just reads to me like hate speech. It's nasty and I wish I understood it so I could argue with it. I need to for my friend, who is just starting the process of going from male to female.
I speak as a straight, white, western, cis woman and a feminist, just to let you know that your message has got through to someone.
I hear you. I will try to be a better trans ally - a better feminist when it comes to trans issues.
I completely agree that "deconstructing" transgender is wrong; I wrote an essay last year about Simone de Beauvoir and said something along the lines of her definition of 'woman' can also include trans women. The 'feminist' marking the essay wrote "this is a matter of opinion" and I was so angry - it was the only full comment she wrote :( I realised at that point how entrenched transphobia can be.
I'm not trans but I try to be as inclusive as possible. I have in the past been guilty of not noticing trans issues and how they overlap with women's/feminist issues. So very sorry for that.
This post is awesome, and I thank you for it.
When you say this: ""And no, for the millionth time, trans women are not the fucking Patriarchy.""
I first think, "goddam right, let's end discrimination against the trans and GLB" community.
And then I realize what you are also saying is, "Fuck men, fuck FTM, fuck them all for they all work to oppress me."
Dear idiot male "feminist" and "trans" "ally":
Patriarchy does not equal male.
Male does not equal patriarchy.
Please make a note of it.
When someone attacks the patriarchy qua patriarchy, they aren't attacking men (be they mbm, ftm, gay, bi, whatever), but the social structure we all live in, which, yes, is one that favors men. It also strongly favors the cisgendered over the transgendered, and a person who was actually concerned about supporting transgendered individuals would check his privilege at the door and take the meaning of this post, which is simply this: transwomen are not the enemy of feminism. They do not represent a nefarious plot by the patriarchy to destroy feminism from within. If anything, transwomen (and transmen, for that matter) are natural allies of the feminist community, insofar as they are working to tear down a rigidly-enforced idea of gender norms. If a man can choose to become a woman, and actually become a woman, then it challenges the fundamental idea of what it is to be a woman -- and the idea that "woman" is a fixed concept that is defined by traditional gender roles.
I can't recommend this post enough, and think it's spot on; as a white cisgendered man, I know damn well that I'm soaking in my privilege. Nobody's going to kill me when it turns out I'm a cisgendered man. Nobody's going to assault me for daring to be who I am. And as long as others can't say the same thing, I have a moral responsibility to do what I can in supporting them. And cisgendered women do, too.
Hey, thanks for this. Far too often cis feminists treat transfolks like abstract, almost platonic forms of oppression. It's great to see someone call bullshit on it.
It seems to me like the feminist bloggers I've been seeing lately are a select group of extremely priviledged women, who don't address their priviledge.
The feminists I've met in real life are nothing like this. Even the white, middle-class, cissexual feminists I've met are concerned with things like the rape of a Native 12 year old girl by three White adult men, the way a black FTM suddenly starts getting pulled over a lot after transition, little effeminate boys being trained by psychologists to act 'masculine', etc. What's going on with these feminist bloggers? Why are they so different from the feminists I've met personally?
And I think *everyone* is part of the patriarchy to a certain extent.
great post. something I will try to work on.
I just reposted it elsewhere (http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=10384&post=80688&uid=2204676030#topic_top) (and linked to you), and then realized perhaps I should have asked first? Is that alright with you? If not, I'm sorry and I'll take it down
Alison your response hasn't come up on here despite lack of moderation but yes, that's fine.
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